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1. The fact that Xelloss says Sore wa himitsu desu so often that there really is no point to be annoyed by that statement, so all you can do is enjoy it.
2. His laugh is too funny to not be funny.
3. The kawaii way his face looks when hes cheerful.
4. The evil way his face looks when hes miffed.
5. Its a secret!
6. The way his face looks when he tells a scary story.
7. When he pokes fun at Filias violent nature.
8. When he pokes fun at Lina.
9. The way he makes Zelgadiss uncomfortable.
10. Its a secret.
11. He proves that theres no wrong time to have tea.
12. He proves that being a fruitcake has its advantages.
13. He proves that theres always something to laugh about.
14. He proves that theres no wrong way to tease a dragon maiden. (As long as you have regenerative abilities)
15. Sore wa himitsu desu.
16. His shoes are awesome just because theyre not complicated.
17. His clothes are awesome just because of that design on his cloak(?).
18. He proves that theres no such thing as too much tea.
19. It doesnt take much to get a laugh from Xelloss, and everyone loves the easily amused guy.
20. Its a secret.
21. He proves that no one can overuse a catch phrase and be hated for it.
22. He could be a great addition to any anime series except Digimon, and especially Mahou Tsukai Tai.
23. Hes a great addition to any birthday party for ages over eighteen.
24. Hell dress in drag for no reason and not complain.
25. If he had a million dollars, hed buy you a green dress, but not a real green dress; thats cruel.
26. Its still a secret.
27. He can blow up a ton of dragons at one time. Even if you arent a dragon-basher, you have to admit that being able to blow up a ton of dragons at one time is pretty awesome.
28. If you ponder what hed be like if he were senile, youd just end up laughing till it hurt.
29. If you ponder what hed be like if he were ever on a game show, youd just end up laughing till it hurt.
30. If you ever try to picture him in the same room as Ben Stien, you most likely lose a weeks worth of sleep due to laughing or traumatizing fear.
31. If you ever try to picture him going out with anyone on the Slayers cast, youre not a real Xelloss-worshipper, because if you were, then youd be picturing him going out with yourself. Duh.
32. If you walk your kid to school because youre in the same grade, you might be a redneck.
33. Its a secret.
34. If you ever try to picture him as a *good* legal officer, you belong in a mental institution.
35. If you ever try to picture him with blonde hair, hey, you never knowHes done everything *but* that.
36. If you ever try to picture him dead, youre dreaming, cause he aint dying. Ever.
37. If you ever try to picture him behaving in a church choir, youre right in front of psychological breakdown.
38. If you ever try to picture him in the 70s era, youre not the only one.
39. If you ever try to picture him as a game show host, it could happen.
40. If you ever try to picture him as a married man with a decent job who cooks Johnsonville sausages on warm summer days with his beer buddies, where are you from?
41. If you ever try to picture him never saying Sore wa himitsu desu again, get out of here. Youre nuts. Just go already.
42. If you ever try to picture him serious for more than a day, dont. Its just wrong. Dont.
43. If you ever try to picture him singing in a duet with Michael Jackson, dont be scared. Ive pictured it, too.
44. If he had a million dollars, hed buy you an exotic pet; like a llama or an emu.
45. Its a secret.
46. If you ever try to picture him being un-obsessed with the Claire bible, youre messed up in the head.
47. If you ever try to picture him as the Lucky Charms cereal leprechaun, seek mental help please.
48. If you ever catch him when he hasnt had his tea in over a month, dont ask questions, just run. Fast. Dont even turn around.
49. If you ever thought about what it would be like if he and Madonna ever swapped lives, youd be very surprised on one hand
50. If you ever picture him as a rap star, stop it right now.
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